Exploring the Edges of Being Human through My Borderlands Series

This year I’ve been dedicating more time to writing and have cultivated a series called Borderlands that, so far, has explored:

• the curious paradox of certainty and building resiliency

• our 5 senses and how they combine to create our proprioception

• the bigger picture of sensing: looking at interoception and interoception

I love breaking down bigger concepts into edible pieces and relating them to our everyday lives. In my experience, many people are somewhat daunted by science, scientific terms, and learning about emotions. I believe these can be made accessible in a relatable and disarming way, and that’s my intention!

My latest article in the Borderlands Series looks at the interaction between interoception and our moods, emotions and behaviors. For instance, maybe we find ourselves dwelling on some past betrayal and finding that our mood is souring by the minute. What if we were just a little dehydrated? How can we tell the difference? Read the article to find out more!

Subscription is free however, there is a paid subscription option that offers a vocal recording of the article (done by me) as well as tidbits about my writing process and some pieces of the first draft of the book I’m writing.

You can find these and my other articles on my Substack account at EMILYFAWN.substack.com

New Borderlands Series!

Recenty I joined Substack, an excellent online place for people who love to write and people who love to read.

I developed a series of articles called Borderlands, in which I examine and explore the edges of being human. Some of these journeys are focused on emotion vs reality conundrums we are confronted with in life, and some articles tie in how our physiological goings on affect our mood and behaviors.

I hope you’ll join me in these adventures through a free or paid subscription!
With a free subscription you get to read all the articles.
With a paid subscription you receive an audio recording of the articles, access to archives, and I send out a special snippet of other writing that I’m working on as well as some things that influence my thinking and writing processes.

To check out the first Borderlands episode, click HERE

Cheers to words, to thinking, to inspiration and to creativity!

Emily Fawn Ball

Amusing the Muse

     In various recent conversations with clients and friend groups, people have been describing similar and specific behaviors exhibited by those close to them. For some, there seems to be this urgency, sometimes manically displayed, and a panic to do things swiftly; some of which seem to go against what the person says or against what might be considered normal behavior. 

     The people that these folks were referring to are creatives. Some of them are artists, many of them, are in jobs that don’t engage their creativity. While that may sound benign to some, creativity kind of has a life or agenda of its own. The muse, or our creative passions, will express themselves whether we will it or not; no matter what we are up to at any given time.

     Giving our creativity space and time to play, to exercise, to be amused can help curb its appetite for expression in areas that can’t really feed it, and where it might make a mess of work relationships, traffic patterns; the business of life. That's not to say that the business of life couldn’t use a makeover!

Artists are creative by nature however even those who aren’t creating art may think and operate in creative ways. Sometimes this shows up as people building elaborate narratives about a situation based on little blips of information. Because of our survival wiring, our minds like to make sense of things, and our minds will sometimes create and finish a story just so that we don’t feel threatened by not knowing. This train of thought can be linked to an addiction to certainty, which I explore in a past blog post.

     As Elizabeth Gilbert assesses expertly,

“If your calling is to make things, then you still have to make things in order to live out your highest creative potential - and also to remain sane. (A creative mind) needs to work, or else it will cause you an outrageous amount of trouble. Give your mind a job to do, or else it will find a job to do, and you might not like the job it invents.”

She speaks to this as well by admitting that when she’s not actively creating something then she is probably actively destroying something. 

     What made me throw her book Big Magic, creative living beyond fear book across the room before I realized I love this, is that I read it moments after writing the above phrases of my own. Of course this was frustrating at first. I felt like, “ Why do I bother writing anything; everything I’m engaging in is sending me these message-directions from people who are already published. It’s like we are on a tandem bike, pedaling the same ideas only theirs are out there already. It’s all been said, who am I to say it again and what can I bring to this conversation?” 

     After a few moments of self pity followed by some reflections on reality, I reframed that negative self-talk into is this: “Well, sometimes that’s how you find out that you’re on point! And you will find your own voice in expressing these ideas. And you might express them in a way that is new for someone who hasn’t read these published works. And you might express them in a way that can be better understood by people that just don’t get those published views. Don’t give up, babe; be encouraged by this!” 

     So, while I feel like I’m on the front end of this metaphorical tandem bike, getting these ideas and just starting to flesh them out, these established writers are right behind me, pedaling away at some new idea and waiting for me to glance back at them so they can give me a thumbs up. That’s my current fantasy about that anyways.

     It might be a great idea to see our creativity as we would a lover - take it on dates, engage it in pleasurable activities, ask it what it likes; what makes it sing. 

And also to prepare ourselves for when we ignore our creativity and expect it to show up at our every beck and call.

Of the myriad books on creativity, one workbook that has helped me stay engaged is The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. Cameron mentions artist dates and offers ideas on disciplines and/or regularly scheduled engagement with our creativity. 

     Like any venture we embark on, we probably won’t be amazing at doing this at first. Or we may have beginner's luck and find that luck waning thereafter. Expectations and a perfectionist mindset are anathema to creativity, not to mention being dangerous and delusional traps.

Creativity is playful, it requires curiosity about what is happening in the moment as well as what might happen next; so remember to play! 

-Live Full-

Emily Ball LMT RMT

Disclaimer: the blog Big Magic, Fun Wisdom, Healing Touch by Emily Ball is meant to be uplifting, educational and fun, and is in no way intended to replace any medical advice from your primary care physician, acupuncturist, physical therapist, psychotherapist, psychologist, counselor or any other qualified medical specialist in whose care you are under. If you’ve read this blog and have questions, contact me.

© 2023 Emily Ball, All Rights Reserved

Dope Transitions to Joy

Transition is what we are all initiating, undergoing, coming into, moving through or coming out of. Some transitions seemingly hold less weight or consequence while others are more obvious in how they will affect our lives and the lives around us.

We have recently transitioned into a New Year and a lot of us are considering how we can live a little differently; by adding and/or subtracting habits, by making changes in our relationship with ourselves and others, etc.
Many of these modifications are made with the goal of feeling better within and throughout our lives. 

What does feeling better mean? How long should feeling better last?

Well friends, feeling better, or feeling good isn’t just emotions-based, it’s also chemical.

Hello, Dopamine my old friend …

Dopamine plays a role in how we feel pleasure. It's a big part of our unique human ability to think and plan. It helps us strive, focus, and find things interesting.

It is produced in the midbrain and released by the hypothalamus as a neurohormone. Dopamine is a type of neurotransmitter. (this is only a glance at the science of dopamine production). Basically, your body makes it, and your nervous system uses it to send messages between nerve cells. That's why it's sometimes called a chemical messenger. Like most other systems in the body, you don’t notice it (or maybe even know about it) until there’s a problem.

Dopamine affects many parts of our behavior and physical functions, such as:

• Learning

• Motivation

• Heart rate

• Blood vessel function

• Kidney function

• Lactation

• Sleep

• Mood

• Attention

• Control of nausea and vomiting

• Pain processing

• Movement

Because Dopamine affects behaviors, some mental health challenges are linked to having too much or too little dopamine in different parts of the brain.

No one knows for sure what causes attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Some research shows it may be due to a shortage of dopamine. This problem may be due to one’s genes. The ADHD drug methylphenidate (Ritalin) works by boosting dopamine.

Dopamine also plays a role in diseases, such as Parkinson’s and obesity, which the American Medical Association classified as a disease in 2013.

Dopamine enables neurons in your brain to communicate and control movement. In Parkinson’s, one type of neuron steadily degenerates. It doesn’t have a signal to send anymore, so your body makes less dopamine. The chemical imbalance causes physical symptoms. These include tremor, stiffness, slowness of spontaneous movement, poor balance, and poor coordination. Doctors treat these symptoms with medications that raise levels of dopamine.

Obesity’s relationship to dopamine is more nuanced and is affected by popular beliefs. Most of the time, if you take in more calories than you burn, you’ll gain weight. So why can’t obese people simply eat less and slim down? The answer isn’t that simple. They may face obstacles that others don't. They could have problems with their natural reward systems. This can affect the amount of food they eat before they feel satisfied. Imaging studies suggest that in people with this condition, the body may not release enough dopamine and another feel-good hormone, serotonin.

While dopamine usually plays a secondary role in the body, in certain medical situations it’s literally a lifesaver. Doctors use prescription dopamine (Inotropin) to treat:

• Low blood pressure

• Poor cardiac output (when the heart doesn’t pump out enough blood)

• Poor blood flow to vital organs

• Some cases of septic shock

**Because many drugs interact with it, it’s important that your doctor knows all the medications you take. Please speak with your Primary Care Physician before starting any supplements, of any kind.**

High Dopamine : here we’re talking about drug misuse and addiction

Some drugs that destabilize our dopamine production are nicotine, opioids, alcohol, amphetamines, and cocaine.
Some of these drugs, such as cocaine, cause an imbalance in dopamine production by creating a big, fast increase of dopamine in your brain. That satisfies your natural reward system in a big way. But repeated drug use also raises the threshold for this kind of pleasure. This means you need to take more to get the same high. Meanwhile, these drugs make your body less able to produce dopamine naturally. This leads to emotional lows when you’re sober.

In my past I chased spiritual and feel-good experiences through drugs, alcohol, fasting, hyper-workouts, etc. 
Those were all great dopamine hits and I don't think they are bad on their own -in moderation- . 

I refer to these big, quick hits of dopamine as happy times; they’re fleeting and circumstantial. These hits require external stimuli.

These days I regularly practice short guided meditations, better nutrition, regular exercise and personal ceremonies which require an intentional, focused and sober mind.
When my body is up for it, I play hand drums. Playing drums is a cardio workout, an aggression reliever and a moving meditation in one sitting - that other people can dance to! It’s a big win-win-win that I enjoy thoroughly and that I miss participating in when my low back isn't up to the task. But, that’s why we are urged to cultivate a variety of hobbies, to keep us sane in all kinds of weather. 

These more regular drips of dopamine I refer to as creators of Joy; they’re longer lasting and more sustaining. Joy is long-haul soul nourishment. Joy usually leads to gratitude and vice-versa.

I'm not sure if researchers that I respect, like Brene Brown, would agree, and we may even see joy and happiness in the reverse.
But I think that cultivating joy regularly can help us experience it more often and develop Joy as a state of being, leading to deeper feelings of contentment and satisfaction.
While joy can show up in intense and unexpected ways, for me happiness seems more unstable and less reliable.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I still smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol on occasion, and I certainly won’t be shaming anyone for a little drug use. Those simply aren’t the ways I reach out to the divine currently and my interest in them in my life is less and less as time goes by.

For those struggling with addiction, reach out! You are not alone, so many people have battled with this. You are worth the effort of meaningful connection with yourself and with others. 
If your support network is unavailable or lacking, please consider calling SAMHSA National Helpline. They offer confidential free help, from public health agencies, to find substance use treatment and information. 1-800-662-4357

So What does feeling better mean? How long should feeling better last?

To me, feeling better sounds like living in the future, a prediction, “I’ll feel better when…xyz happens”. While it’s great to plan for future happiness, it might be easier to get there if we learn to practice joy now.

The choice is up to each of us whether or not we spend time regularly to nourish the self in this grounded reality.
When we choose to devote some time to our overall health, what we gain from any spiritual or feel-good experience stays with us easier, better, more steadfast and internally wired. Internally wired? Yes. Like the way our muscles develop a movement-sense memory, with regular practice of sustainable, balancing, feel-good moves our brains can access those feelings easier.

Staying balanced (by which I mean participating in activities in which dopamine drips most of the time vs extreme highs or lows) allows those rare, more intense hits of happiness to be even more impactful on our overall sense of joy.

Oooh, maybe joy is the secret 7th mammalian sense!?!

Some things that can help us stay balanced & help keep our dopamine levels stabilized:

• Connection: Having a few genuine friends that you stay in touch with regularly. These are those friendships where you hold safe space for each other in and around those conversations. Around those conversations means that you both understand what needs to remain confidential about your conversations. I’ll probably devote a future blog to creating and maintaining boundaries. Oof.

• Hobbies!

  Walking doesn’t cost money and it can be a wonderful moving meditation. (notice I didn’t say it was free, implying without consequence; because for some people it isn’t)
  Practicing Art doesn’t have to be expensive or very time consuming. Also, Art isn’t about being good at Art, it’s about the experience of creating. You can start with a piece of paper & a pen to write or draw or both. You could get a bundle of string and creatively craft a hanging piece or a bracelet.
  There are so many free videos on crafting and creating on YouTube, from cutting t-shirts into interesting designs to building your own canoe to baking & cooking, etc. Explore!
  Practicing Music is, I’m pretty sure, our oldest form of communication. You needn’t pay for an instrument to access it. Music is sound and the exploration of sound. Your voice, 2 spoons clacking, hands patting on an overturned cooking pot, feet tapping the floor. This is another medium where the making of music isn’t about being “good” at it but rather, can you dig it? Are you groovin’ with others if they’re present?

• Noticing the world around you is another practice we can cultivate to help keep us balanced. How the light looks and feels when you wake up, the temperature of water and the way it feels on your hands, how many colors are in the room you’re in, what trees and other plant life might be on a regular route you take - what is their color and how does their color and texrure change in different weather or seasons? How does your breath feel as you inhale and where does your body move to make space for it? This is the essence of being present. Noticing.

• Reading can take us immediately out of our own perceptions, entering a new world of thoughts and ideas. How magical is that?! When we expose ourselves to ideas outside of what we already know and think, we offer our perception a chance to stretch, which means we are able to see more, sense more, dream more. Through reading we open ourselves to more possibilities.

• Resting sometimes requires permission, from ourselves and our world. Downtime allows the brain to make new connections and better decisions (NYT), quote that to your boss next time you need a mental health day. Make a point to carve out time for quiet and contemplation - how much can you not do? As I mentioned earlier, I use short guided meditations regularly. That’s how much I’ve learned not to do, I won’t even lead my own meditation!
  Many of us spend time constantly pinged and reacting to short-term stimuli, from phones, texts, tv’s, even ads on buses or looks on the faces of strangers. Some people would describe this level of stimulation as their edge. Welp, guess that depends on what success looks like to you.
  To veteran financial journalist William Green in an interview with the New York Times, rest is a reflection of the “ruthless pragmatism” that made his (subjects) successful in the first place — in the eternal hunt for an edge, they found their rest ethic. It’s almost a countercultural move. “I don’t think you have deep thought without structuring your life this way.”
  In short, we need time to recuperate from all that adrenaline pumping madness.
  While resting without screens is a wonderful goal, for now get rest however you can!
  2 free meditation apps are Mindspace and Insight Timer.

So, we can all strive for feeling better, feeling good. We can all also remember that we are imperfect beings, some of us fighting impossible odds, and doing our best. Our best will fluctuate every day.

Living inJoy is a journey of small everyday efforts.

Joy doesn’t need a freakin parade, or fireworks. It is a state of being cultivated over time with genuine effort. This is what I mean when I sometimes refer to living in ceremony. This is the quest of living in right-relationship with ourselves, which helps us live in right-relationship with other people, the planet, the universe and whatever you might call god. 

So, where y’at? What can you do to transition into joy from where you are? Can you envision how sharing your joy might create more, for you and everyone else?

Live Full!

Emily Ball LMT RMT

Disclaimer: the blog Big Magic, Fun Wisdom, Healing Touch by Emily Ball is meant to be uplifting, educational and fun, and is in no way intended to replace any medical advice from your primary care physician, acupuncturist, physical therapist, psychotherapist, psychologist, counselor or any other qualified medical specialist in whose care you are under. If you’ve read this blog and have questions, contact me.

© 2022 Emily Ball, All Rights Reserved

Citations: 

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-dopamine

(NYT) https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/29/business/dealbook/quality-work-breaks.html

Instead of waiting for something to change or happen, I would love to help you develop your value-based intention, to find your drive, and to reorient your sense of right relationship while taking action in your life; encouraging you to live your life on purpose each day.

Practically Spiritual - The Water Element & Winter

In autumn our attention was turned to separating the wheat from the chaff in our lives. Our option was to let that chaff go and feel the lightness that comes from dropping what we don’t need. Autumn was also a time to reap the confidence that comes from acknowledging our accomplishments.

As we navigate this wild winter season in the northern hemisphere, we are called to increase our courage. 

Winter can be a long journey and if we want to come into spring ready for renewal we will need forms of self care that offer us resilience in mind, body & spirit.

In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) winter is correlated with the water element. 

The internal organs are much more than physical structures in the TCM view. They are complex systems also involving aspects of the mind, emotions and spirit. Not only does each organ have a physiological function, it has functions at the invisible level of vital energy, or Qi. Each organ is uniquely related to a body tissue, a sense organ, emotion, taste, sound, climate, and a direction. These qualities are organized in the Theory of Five Elements. This ancient system provides TCM practitioners with a framework to understand, diagnose and treat health problems.

Organs of the water element are the kidneys and bladder. According to TCM, the kidneys store our essence energy (called: Jing), which is our source of vitality, resistance and longevity. The kidneys play an important role in the proper functioning of our endocrine and reproductive systems.

The emotion dominated by the water element is fear. It is a normal adaptive emotion, but can become chronic when ignored. Kidney issues often arise when we are dealing with fear, such as a change in life direction or unstable living conditions.
When we experience extreme fright, our kidneys struggle to hold the energy and we can quite literally pee our pants!

When our water element is unbalanced, we may experience symptoms such as:

• Isolation, absentmindedness, detachment, or fear.

• Rigid joints, weakness in the knees and lower back. This is because the Kidney is related to the bones, joints, and marrow.

• Tinnitus, ringing in the ears- as Kidney opens out to the ear.

• Coldness due to lack of Kidney Yang.

• Hot flushes, hot palms, and feet due to lack of Kidney Yin.

• Premature aging due to lack of Kidney essence (Jing). This is the prenatal energy that you receive from your parents. After birth, this material will be used for development and reproduction. If there is little, to begin with or not nourished by the postnatal energy (from food), then it may lead to faster aging such as early gray hair and wrinkles.

So, it's a good thing that water in this context is also associated with wisdom, stamina and endurance. Qualities we are in great need of at this time!

LIFESTYLE

The winter season is an excellent time to practice anything that keeps our adrenal glands happy. The water element urges us to explore flowing movement practices like yoga or tai chi or find a mindfulness practice like meditation; guided or self-led.

Ginger foot soaks activate the Kidney meridian on the foot to build the Kidney’s energetic function. Also, it can simply be very pleasant to soak the feet!

Tea
Personally I find my motivation to drink water waning during winter, as the temperatures drop I’m less interested in cold beverages. Many people turn to things like hot water with lemon & honey, and that’s great if it works for them - I could, and may someday, write a blog piece dedicated to the miracle that is honey and how much I love it. Lemon can be harshly acidic for some people and may not be suited for everyone’s physiology. I usually turn to caffeine-free herbal infusions, commonly known as tea. They are just as hydrating as water and I get the benefit from our herbal allies.
One herb that can be taken by people in almost every age and state is Stinging Nettle. Nettles are high in plant chemicals called polyphenols - suggesting that nettles may play a role in aiding us with prevention and management of chronic diseases related to inflammation. The minerals found in nettles are calcium, iron, magnesium, phosphorus, potassium and sodium. Some of the vitamins found in nettles are A, C and K, as well as several B vitamins.
Stinging nettle is a mighty ally - just don’t go harvesting until you do some research and understand your potential for specific allergies. What’s in a name? Harvesting Stinging Nettles can really scratch some people up! Once harvested, dried and in a tea bag or ball, they pose very little threat to those with nettle-sensitive skin & allergies.

I also adore Ginger Tea and Lemon Balm Tea. Ginger is warming and great for calming my sometimes tumultuous belly during the day. Lemon Balm is a natural anti-viral and nervine. I use Lemon Balm tea when I feel myself leaning toward anxiety and nervousness. I usually take it at night due to its calming benefits.

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— If you’re pregnant, or on any blood thining, diabetic or diuretic medication, then consult with your doctor before adding any of these herbs to a daily or regular health regimen. —

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We can find benefits from foods that share the qualities of the water element: the colors are dark, the taste is salty, the quality is hydrating and nourishing. Be aware that too much salt will cause water retention; it’s all about balance! TCM examples include: nuts, seeds, legumes, shellfish, salt water fish, seaweed, dark colored berries, root vegetables, whole grains, stews and soups. Yay, soup!

Understanding what your body – and mind – need during the winter months will allow you to stay balanced and healthy.

*ACUPUNCTURE

For Water element, KI 3 Tai Xi and KI 1 Yong Quan are two commonly used acupoints.

When pressing the points, remember to:

• Apply firm and deep pressure

• Take long and deep breaths while pressing

• Set the intention and focus your energy on the point that you are pressing

• Press firmly for 15 seconds followed by 5 seconds release, and continue for about 5 minutes for each point

• Press on a regular basis as acupuncture works cumulatively

KI 3 Tai Xi (Great Stream)

Location:

Located in the inner ankles.

Point is in the depression between the tip of the inner ankle and achilles tendon.

Functions:

• Yuan (source) point of the Kidney

• For most Kidney deficiency issues

• Strengthens the lower back

KI 1 Yong Quan (Gushing Spring)

Location:

Located under the soles of the feet.

Point is one-third from the top.

Functions:

• Lowest kidney accupoint of the body

• Descending action

• Returns the unrooted back to its source

• Calms the mind

Water is majestically motivated by the cycles of the moon-led tides and gravity-fed winds. It can both nourish and destroy.
- Even at its slowest, water can influence the deepest cavern to form stalagmites and stalactites.
- A gentle river can dramatically change the landscape over a few short years.
- Water as ice is locked, preserved, ready.
From water we can learn to flow in the moment; play & laugh like a babbling brook, rush on gravity as a thunderous waterfall, be mirror-still as a lake and reflect our surroundings, or hold onto the history of ages like giant sheets of ice.
Water flows home, always to the seas and oceans. It dynamically rises, passes over, and in fullness, releases it’s bounty.

What does this precious resource mean in your life? 

What aspects of your life are flowing like water, or are locked like ice? 

Do these areas need the remedy of reminder that there are other ways of being?

What is your go-to remedy for dealing with stress? 

How well does it serve you? 

Could you make a healthy change to how you deal with or adapt during stressful times?

These aren’t the easiest questions, take your time in developing your relationship to water and learning it’s lessons.

Live Full!

Emily Ball LMT RMT

Disclaimer: the blog Big Magic, Fun Wisdom, Healing Touch by Emily Ball is meant to be uplifting, educational and fun, and is in no way intended to replace any medical advice from your primary care physician, acupuncturist, physical therapist, psychotherapist, psychologist, counselor or any other qualified medical specialist in whose care you are under. If you’ve read this blog and have questions, contact me.

© 2021 Emily Ball, All Rights Reserved

*Citation: https://www.thomsontcm.sg/articles/the-water-element-in-tcm/

A Collective Addiction to Certainty

When you feel you know a thing, in your text books or in your bones, do you think that there remains a possibility of that thing changing?

If so, does that alter your belief in the truth of that thing, in this moment or in the future?

How comfortable are you with questioning your beliefs? 

How connected are your beliefs to your values? 

Could your beliefs, especially in the truth of a thing or idea, change without changing your values? 

What do you do to bring yourself out of confusion?

These are some questions that follow us as we explore what we feel certain about.

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Certainty, Uncertainty and Paradox

The phone number you had in youth is still the phone number you had in youth, however the phone number you have now may not be the same phone number: sameness and change, with certainty.

Gravity generally behaves in a constant manner and yet the magnetism of the poles are changing as ice caps melt and ocean temperatures shift - will the increase in water, while being affected by the moon, change the nature of gravity on our planet? Maybe: unknown change with uncertainty.

I find it fairly fruitless, and even damaging, to constantly think on or question things like the weather forecast, whether the tire pressure is good in your car tire or in the tires of the bus you’re riding, or if the seasons will present in their "right time". We only have so much control in our lives.

As for the global SARS CoV2 pandemic, our addiction to certainty was and continues to be tested. Is science static (certain) and therefore were we given false information (breach of trust)? Or is it possible that science evolves with new data (curiosity, or at least inquiry) and we tend to demand a level of security that was false to begin with (addiction to old beliefs)?

As the title of my blog says, the body does not lie. To bring it closer to home: we may believe or feel certain that we either do or do not carry a virus within us. The truth may be that we do carry some virus but it is not enough to transmit to anyone with a non-compromised immune system, at this moment. 

The sameness/ certainty: we are still ourselves. 

The paradoxical challenge to our beliefs: what we believe may not reflect reality. 

The unknown/ uncertainty: the next moment.

These are paradoxes, at least two truths held at the same time,

and Humans are notoriously great at avoiding this grey area in thought. We want certainty, facts, truths written in stone. Even if we had these things, the stone writing will fade as water and wind do their natural and predictable acts of erosion, transforming the thing we were clinging to for stability. Change is natural, it is the only constant, certain thing.

So, what leads to that uncomfortable feeling of uncertainty? Doubt.

It's great for survival; to take a pause and assess a potential food source or situation. However, unforeseen or unimaginable doubt, doubt about capabilities, or self mastery, or trust, those doubts lead us to a special kind of uncertainty. When I have those doubts I try to engage my curiosity. Curiosity has a hard time thriving where our minds are set, where we feel certain and that we have all the answers already, when we are done thinking about something, when we are unbendable in thought.

I think we get the most stuck in a mindset when we are confused - I’d wager this leads immediately to shame and stops all flexible and potential breakthrough thinking!

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If we are confused then that means we may be wrong, and most of us
feel we can’t be wrong.
We’ve been trained to be right, and the emotional consequences or
risks of being wrong are too great to fathom.
We love what we know.
We crave what we are certain about,
even when that certainty is in our opinion about who someone else is
or what they’re capable of;
something that almost always disappoints.

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From my teachers in massage therapy school I heard, "Don't study what you already know." It was a revolution of sorts in my mind and I try to engage that idea every time I learn something new; sometimes I succeed.
Why would someone study what they already know? Doubt in themselves, yes, but also to self-soothe. Personally, because somewhere I felt like I needed a win, a question that I knew the answer to, a feeling of undeniable capability and rightness. That's great at the moment but ultimately doesn't get one very far.

Curiosity, and even confusion, help to open the next doors - to learn what one doesn't already know.

Sometimes curiosity fails me and I feel stuck in turmoil. When I can bring myself back around I ask: what don't I know at the moment? Am I thinking for myself or allowing myself to be pulled in many directions without a solid anchor? While I believe in a collective consciousness I also subscribe to a sense of self. We are all connected and that can get muddy. And yet, like in nature, there is a place where the mud ends and a more solid ground begins. It is that place, where we and our values meet the collective consciousness that can get sticky with doubts and addictions to certainties. 

What can help alleviate the suffering of our doubt and our addiction to certainty? Resilience.

Resilience doesn’t get its strength through rigidity or through being too compromising. The strength of resilience comes from being in right relationship with yourself, so that you can understand your needs moment to moment, so that you can see the natural flow of a moment and create a measured response instead of reacting to everything that comes your way. This is a practice. In this practice there will be times of great strength (acceptance of new ideas, leading to revelations) and times of great struggle (clinging to beliefs that don’t reflect your current reality, leading to suffering).

The times that seem to bring great struggle are omens; they let us know that it is time to go within, examine where we may be unrelentingly stubborn with ourselves or others, or where we may be too flexible and possibly compromising our integrity. 

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This skill development requires time and patience.
It is a gift to yourself.
It is worth demanding the time and space from your world to practice.
Taking this time will give you the opportunity to show up more, hale,
and more ready to meet life's challenges each time.

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Developing resilience can help us ride the wild waves of natural transformation in our lives as well as entertain ideas and thoughts pushed at us from so many human sources while retaining our personal values. It is a learnable skill that can help keep us grounded in uncertain times. 

Stay curious when you find your beliefs -not your values- are being challenged, by you or other people.

Remember that you can only truly control yourself, your thoughts and your actions.

And keep in mind that moments of confusion during investigation or study mean that you are learning (:

For some tips on resiliency from the American Psychological Association, follow this link: https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience

I’m certainly not the first person to entertain the idea that many of us are addicted to certainty and this bit of writing is one tip of a mighty iceberg. I highly recommend listening to the podcast, “Unlocking Us” episode in which Brene Brown interviews Esther Perel on partnerships, patterns, and paradoxical relationships.

Live full!

Emily Ball LMT RMT

*Disclaimer: the blog Big Magic, Fun Wisdom, Healing Touch by Emily Ball is meant to be uplifting, educational and fun, and is in no way intended to replace any medical advice from your primary care physician, acupuncturist, physical therapist, psychotherapist, psychologist, counselor or any other qualified medical specialist in whose care you are under. If you’ve read this blog and have questions, contact me.

© 2021 Emily Ball, All Rights Reserved

Practically Spiritual - The Metal-Air Element & Autumn

Where we were focused on gratitude and savoring the things we receive in late summer, in autumn our attention turns to separating the wheat from the chaff: letting that chaff go, and feeling the lightness of dropping what we don’t need.

I believe we are all alive at this time on purpose. As lottery-random as life can seem, I think there's a sort of magic underlying each event, large & small, from birth to death and beyond.

Basically, we all deserve to be here, in these bodies, at this time, on this planet. There's nothing to be earned with that, it simply is.

Some ideas that have been reinforced for me during this intense era are slowing down, appreciating life, and going within to find stillness and replenish. 

There are an extreme amount of meaningful external and internal events at play, changing every day, flooding our consciousness. Many people want to help, to heal, to offer whatever they can to support things that align with their desires and visions of a better world. That is a wonderful impulse!

It can be difficult to ascertain the best places for our energy, where we can do the most good for everyone.

As we approach Autumn, I ask that you examine what you're harvesting for yourself:

• What resources do you need to do the work you intend to do?

• How can you best prepare for yourself so that you can show up for others without compromising your integrity (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually)?

• What patterns, ideas or people can be released from your life to bring more harmony and less stress through changing and challenging times?

• Where are you ready to receive and where does receiving feel difficult?

Start with you. Specifically, your breath and your skin.

In Traditional Chinese Medicine Autumn corresponds with the metal element which has a lot to do with minerals and air, the large intestine, the skin, the lungs and our breath. 

The internal organs are much more than physical structures in the TCM view. They are complex systems also involving aspects of the mind, emotions and spirit. Not only does each organ have a physiological function, it has functions at the invisible level of vital energy, or Qi. Each organ is uniquely related to a body tissue, a sense organ, emotion, taste, sound, climate, and a direction. These qualities are organized in the Theory of Five Elements. This ancient system provides TCM practitioners with a framework to understand, diagnose and treat health problems.

The large intestine and the lungs, what powerful eliminators these two are!
As the large intestine eliminates what is unnecessary or toxic from our bodies, the metal element suggests that we do the same on a mental and spiritual level.
As our lungs take in the cool Autumn air, the metal element encourages us to receive fresh energy (chi). Our breathing is an enormous part of our life and can be of such great service. While there are myriad apps available to assist in good breathing & meditation there are also immediate and simple ways we can work with our breath.
Get in touch with your breath, get curious about where the air flows in your body, in the center of You. Breathe slowly, calmly, exhale fully, focus on this until it feels natural.
As the summery haze dissipates and a clear Autumn crispness takes over we can use this purity of air to help us discern what needs to be eliminated and what is most precious for our winter months ahead. 

As metals nourish the earth and create suitable soils for growth, so too can the metal element help us understand our self worth. The metal element urges us to acknowledge the accomplishments & successes of the year that we reap in this season. We will need our self worth intact to decide what holds true value and is in alignment with us.

For your skin, research dry brushing to remove the old and welcome the new. The skin is the body’s largest organ, take great care by applying lotion suitable for your skin type every day over all of it!

So, how’s your inner metal holding up?

• Have you noticed yourself seeking respect & recognition from others?

• Feeling a general lack of worth within yourself?

• Do you identify your worth with the things you have (achievements, attachments, collections, possessions, attitudes … dwelling places & popular things therein, your career)?

• Trouble letting any of that go?

Well friend, TCM is here to help!

1. Clear the Clutter: donate or sell your stuff, whatever doesn’t actually feel like it’s yours (get honest)

2. Use Metal to check your Mentality: examine your attitudes (from prejudice to resentment). If you’re holding onto baggage about other people this is an excellent time to try resolving those issues with folks or let those feelings about others GO. * magic tip: I like to write these contentions on paper & burn-release them. If you’re in an area sensitive to fire, you can bury them to decompose-release them.

3. Breathe & write: breathe, breathe differently, breathe longer. Think briefly on who you are, or could be without those attachments you’ve been working to resolve. Write that down. If writing isn’t your thing, consider recording your voice, moving your body, singing, playing an instrument; the point is the Processing of these ideas.

TCM Autumn release & nourish points

Tsubo points are the potent places along the organ meridian lines that help to sort of unlock blocked chi, they can free-up or slow down chi in the body. They are utilized to bring your energy into harmonious flow. When you access these points with the right pressure you will probably feel a different sensation than you would in the surrounding skin & muscle tissue.

Once the point is located you can use a finger to massage it in a gentle, circular motion. Oftentimes, tsubo points can be slightly tender.

To strengthen the lungs, it’s highly encouraged to pair these acupressure techniques with breathwork. Do 2-3 rounds of breath through the nose using a long smooth inhale and making a point to find a slightly longer smooth exhale.

Be gentle with yourself, if the feeling of activating a tsubo point moves from intense sensation into pain then back off immediately.

To get you started on Autumn clearing, here are some tsubo points, a quick summary of their  mental lessons and their location:

• L(Lung)7 : ease in letting go & grieving : find this by joining your hands between the thumb and forefinger.  Your index finger should be resting along the radius bone.  The tip of your index finger will come to rest in a small notch between two tendons which lie on top of the styloid process.

• L9 : purify the old so it doesn’t taint the new: on your wrist crease, just below your thumb.

• L1 : get to the core of the quality within you: On the chest, just below the outside center of the clavicle, in the space between the first and second ribs. This point is typically tender to the touch.

• Li (Large Intestine)20 : breathe in pure, new inspiration: the last point on the large intestine meridian, located at the outside base of each nostril, just outside the widest part of the nose.

There are so many things outside of our control, it can feel overwhelming at times. For now, our air is free and we have a choice in how we breathe and how we take care of our skin. A great self care practice allows us to show up more fully to each of life's challenges and opportunities for joy.

Live full!

Emily Ball LMT RMT

*Disclaimer: the blog Big Magic, Fun Wisdom, Healing Touch by Emily Ball is meant to be uplifting, educational and fun, and is in no way intended to replace any medical advice from your primary care physician, acupuncturist, physical therapist, psychotherapist, psychologist, counselor or any other qualified medical specialist in whose care you are under. If you’ve read this blog and have questions, contact me.

© 2021 Emily Ball, All Rights Reserved

Further reading:

https://www.bigtreehealing.com/harmonize-with-the-seasons/

https://mendacupuncture.com/path-to-letting-go/

http://www.5elements.com/docs/elements/metal.html

Practically Spiritual - The Earth Element & late Summer

Practically Spiritual - The Earth Element 

Ahhhh, late summer in the Northern Hemisphere. Buffalo, NY specifically.
The cicadas are thrumming their song, urban gardeners harvest more tomatoes or zucchini than seems possible, and the steamy haze is abundant.

While WNY is infamous for snow, most people neglect to realize just how hot and humid it can get here. Whether our summers increasing in heat index is turning our big-small towns into paradise overtime is yet to be determined.

As August lazes to a close in a pool of sweat, Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) notes that this brief late summer season is one of relaxation and transition as we begin to prepare our soils, homes and minds for the inevitable colder months.

The full-on summer surge of energy is waning. The food is ripe and so are most of us. This is a time of less vim everywhere so be gentle with yourself and how much you expect to “accomplish” in a day.
While that sounds nice enough, realistically our worlds to-do lists do not slow with the waning seasons.

So! Let’s explore some TCM and other ideas on how can we best support ourselves, especially when we act out of season. Chinese theory encompasses the spiritual essence of the organs as well as their primary functions.

The internal organs are much more than physical structures in the TCM view. They are complex systems also involving aspects of the mind, emotions and spirit. Not only does each organ have a physiological function, it has functions at the invisible level of vital energy, or Qi. Each organ is uniquely related to a body tissue, a sense organ, emotion, taste, sound, climate, and a direction. These qualities are organized in the Theory of Five Elements. This ancient system provides TCM practitioners with a framework to understand, diagnose and treat health problems.

In TCM, the organs associated with late summer are the Stomach (yang) and Spleen/Pancreas (yin).

The Stomach breaks down and digests food, and information.

The Spleen/Pancreas transports nourishment throughout the body and ideas throughout the community. It also transforms our food into chi (energy) and blood, and mediates blood sugar metabolism.

Some other characteristics of TCM’s Earth element are:

• The color Yellow: leaves begin to turn, angry yellow jackets abound.

• The taste of sweet and enjoying the sweet things in life: mmm, treats - go for the ripe berries, melons and summer squashes! The beach hours, the easy hikes, the summer teas!

• Emotions can get focused on worry or pensiveness. However, in a healthy Earth element expression sympathy, empathy and compassion arise: gotta gather, harvest, hunt, buckle down, got no energy, hot and humid, ugh, how am I going to…? What’s going to happen when school starts up? When does alternate parking seriously go back into effect? Breathe.

• Atmospheric & internal energies begin moving from expansive Yang to contractive Yin: gathering resources of all kinds, bringing thinking internal, getting back to home base; literally and figuratively.

• The direction of the Earth element is Center, the core, the home of you.

These days are great for making time to do things that put a smile on your face - whatever will reduce your stress levels without super stressful consequences. It’s a good time to start a better sleep routine, or get more rest when you can. Exercise is most beneficial at this time when it is gentle. This is a time of abundance and with all the fresh fruit and vegetables around we have an opportunity to store the best nutrients in our freezers and in our bodies for the months to come.

So, if you’re :
finding that your emotions are sulking in obsessive worry or sympathy,
feeling cloistered in insecurity and self-centeredness,
having a hard time giving or receiving care and help from others,
feeling a general lack of abundance (you don’t have enough of something)
and physically experiencing some digestive problems, headaches, and a difficulty in weight gain or loss,

then here are some ideas to get your Earth element moving toward balance!

• Give: Lend a hand when you see someone in need (with permission), get a friend a random gift that speaks to you of them, volunteer, hug someone who loves you (again, with permission).

• Gratitude: Thank someone, anyone, just start there. Work gratitude like a muscle; have it for your food, your vitamins, etc. How many resources and hours of labor went into getting those things to you? As we take in nourishment, where is the promise that we will use that nourishment to replenish what was lost in our being fed and supplemented? It starts with gratitude.
  When I remember to do this as I take my vitamins (life is practice), I say something like, “ thank you to all that brought me this nourishment, may I use it to replenish the world in a positive way”.
  I visualize the food growing, the hands harvesting and packaging, the driver driving the food, the lab preparing everything into pill form, the factory and it’s workers packaging the pills, the driver driving the packages, the grocer stocking the pill bottles on a shelf, the clerk ringing them out at the store. I think on these plants and people and I thank them.
  Then I viualize all that energy entering my body and I see my body transforming that energy and sending it out to the world, perhaps a little more whole or blessed or reiki’d; certainly changed.
  It sounds like a lot, and the first few times I did it, it was. Now when I practice this it is super fast, I say thank you and flash through that sequence in about 30 seconds. That last part is where I take my time - I’m also drinking a lot of water with these vitamins and losing focus is a bad idea at that point.

• Receive: Take life in, consciously accept gifts you truly enjoy receiving. Take your time - savor the moments of thank yous, hugs, hand shakes, and gifts by reflecting on what they make you feel.
  “Digest” your experiences, both the positive and those that bring up negative feelings. Note your initial feelings and take a moment to think through these moments - this creates an opportunity for you to respond instead of react to them.

• Chew. Your. Food. Slowly, reverently, take a break between bites. Mmmm, fooood.

• Be. Where are you anyways? Here. So be here - on purpose. Take a breath. Maybe get your bare feet into some dirt or sand, it’ll help your “gotta-do-all-the-things-all-the-time”-brain chill out and get some perspective. Some people refer to this as “grounding”; as if it’s a new trend. Call it whatever you want, as long as the new perspective is genuine!

There is only one you, please be present for and nice to that person.

Live full!

Emily Ball LMT RMT

*Disclaimer: the blog Big Magic, Fun Wisdom, Healing Touch by Emily Ball is meant to be uplifting, educational and fun, and is in no way intended to replace any medical advice from your primary care physician, acupuncturist, physical therapist, psychotherapist, psychologist, counselor or any other qualified medical specialist in whose care you are under. If you’ve read this blog and have questions, contact me.

© 2021 Emily Ball, All Rights Reserved

Healing & Paradox

What is Healing?
Healing isn’t an event, it is a change that takes place overtime in our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual landscape. We are all gifted with an ability to heal ourselves; our bodie’s main objective is to maintain, or return to homeostasis. “Healers” do not heal you.

They can assist in getting you to a place where healing can begin, they can continue to hold space and help facilitate your healing; they work in partnership with you for your healing.

For much of your lifetime, YOU are your healer.

It is your choice whether or not you do work outside of the healers sacred space to get you to your next level on your journey.

The Paradox of Healing
There is a conscious part of the mind that desires change through the vehicle of therapy, and an unconscious part that finds this change to be threatening. Although we consciously desire change, we may also unconsciously dread it and thus resist the process. This is the Paradox of Healing (The Psychology of the Body, Barbara Goorich-Dunn & Eliot Greene)

Some ways I have exerienced the Paradox of Healing for myself and with my clients are:

- holding patterns, especially in the shoulders & arms, that won’t seem to relax (If you’ve been on my table and felt me shaking your arm to coax it to relax, that’s what this is about).
- emotional release during a session (this is perfectly natural, see more on this below).
- enjoying a session very much and not booking another one for months or years (I have done this as well).
- a part of the body that seemed thoroughly worked on in the last session has tightened up again.
- having a strong physical or emotional reaction to treatment the following day or week.

These are all normal responses to healing, especially where we have holding patterns of tension. These tension patterns can present as a result of repetitive use of the muscles and/or from underlying emotions attached to the pattern. I have experienced these first hand as well as with my clients.

The Paradox of Healing, as it upsets the status quo of our holding patterns, can unconsciously be perceived as threatening.
Ironically, the biggest threat is often times a strong feeling of vitality and living fully in the body. Involuntary chronic tension patterns arise when we arm ourselves in subconscious ways, and sensing a loss of that control can feel threatening.

Sometimes strong emotions arise during massage or energy work, such as anger, resentment, grief, sadness, joy, relief, and others. As a licensed massage therapist I am trained in holding space for my clients to experience strong emotions during treatment. If these strong emotions remain at a high level of intensity beyond the appointment, I highly recommend pursuing a session with a mental health professional as it is a great way to honor those feelings and yourself. Feeling a range of emotions is healthy; we are meant to move through them throughout our lives and days, we aren’t meant to live in one emotion long term.

Sometimes intense physical sensations can arise after receiving massage therapy. Sore or tender areas are normal for 24 to 48 hours after receiving deep tissue work. If the areas continue in soreness or tenderness beyond that, then possibly the work was too deep in that area. This is a signal to you and the therapist to communicate during treatment about the pressure involved, especially in those areas.

Pressure can be difficult to perceive when receiving bodywork. Personally, I have allowed very deep work in areas that I realized later were a little too sore for my liking. This can easily happen due to the work feeling great in the moment and not wanting to disrupt the process, our own curiosity, wanting to “really feel’ the work, but mainly we allow too much pressure when we misinterpret the limits of our body. We are always learning, in an ever-changing landscape; not easy!

Even as healing touch can create upset within our unhealthful holding patterns, it can also be the tool that helps release those patterns. We are encouraged by our culture to live mainly in our heads and minds, treating our bodies like a car that simply needs regular maintenance so we can get back to our lives. Bodywork can help realign kinesthetic awareness, offering us sensations of where our body lives in space; where our outer most layers interact with the world, where our physical boudaries exist. It can also give us a greater sense of our bodies from the outside layer in, how we hold ourselves, which affects how we think on ourselves and visa versa.

Basically, we are in these bodies for the entirety of our lives. They hold our unique story & history.
With change the only true constant, bodywork can help initiate getting un-stuck so that we can make more conscious changes for new paths on our life journey.

It’s a process, not a sprint ;)

Live full!

Emily Ball LMT RMT

*Disclaimer: the blog Big Magic, Fun Wisdom, Healing Touch by Emily Ball is meant to be uplifting, educational and fun, and is in no way intended to replace any medical advice from your primary care physician, acupuncturist, physical therapist, psychotherapist, psychologist, counselor or any other qualified medical specialist in whose care you are under. If you’ve read this blog and have questions, contact me.

© 2021 Emily Ball, All Rights Reserved